Tuesday, April 29, 2008

What am I? Your Mother?

So apparently my mom read my blog.

And she's none too happy about the language.
(Not my mom, but someone's probably)

Sorry Mom! I'll try not to f-in curse anymore.

Bye !

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

I Want to date a shoplifter!!!

Think about it? Cool stuff for free? I'll have 73 ties and 108 belts by the end of the year!!! Plus conjugal visit sex, how awesome would that be!!

I guess I'll have to save up for bail money now.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Crazy Bitches fucking with me in my own house!! and other related stories.

We're working backwards like Mission Impossible, bitches!

4:00 a.m. 4-19, I go to sleep, happy that all my random houseguests are asleep.
3:30 a.m. 4-19 Some crazy bitch insults Ed and refuses to shut the fuck up. Despite me asking her to leave my house some time ago, she doesn't take it seriously. She eventually falls asleep so I don't have to hear her whore mouth. She is apparently a sore winner as well
3:30 a.m. 4-19 Ed and I decide to have a friendly game of heads-up poker. Some chick who is kind of cute, but waaaay fucked up, wants to play with us. She then goes to out kick my trips to beat me, and out kick Ed slightly on some similar hand to take our $5.00 buy ins. She says that she wants to play cash games when we're sitting there. Apparently, she's down to her last 5.00 but that shouldn't matter. She slow rolls me when she beat my trips, showing poor sportsmanship.
3:00 a.m. 4-19 A clown car/cab opens its door outside of my house, and 5 people that I don't know are staying over. Ed and G also arrive. Pizza from All Star arrives. Some drunk chick makes herself a White Russian using soy milk.
2:30 a.m. 4-19 Me, Beth and Matt return to my house. Me and Beth order All Star. Mattie passes out.
2:00 a.m. 4-19 We leave the bar. Some asshole who is Lisa's boyfriend tries to start a fight. Oh Boy!
1:30 a.m. 4-19 I find Mattie Beth Ed and Lisa at the front bar. Me and G have a drink and start to try to talk to Beth's friends who are mediocre at best.
1:00 a.m. 4-19 G and I leave our cozy deck spot to find trouble.
12:30 a.m. 4-19 G and I do a shot of Patron and talk to some Jerzey hot chick. She seems to be having a good time until her Jersey boyfriend arrives. I wonder if he drives an Iroc? Patron shot #2
12:00 a.m. 4-19 Mattie and Ed leave to find Beth. Brad leaves to go home. G arrives. Shots of Patron for the people! 12.00 is way too much per shot.
11:30 p.m. 4-18 Hang with Brad on the deck and get scolded for smoking (him, not me.) Mattie and Ed find us and hang with us for a bit.
11:00 p.m. 4-18 Finally get in, some money and some eye candy. Brew Pub isn't my scene, but I love skirt season.
10:30 p.m. 4-18 Meet up with Beth, Mattie, Lisa (Beth's friend), Lisa's BF, John, Ricky, and Jimbo at Sapphire. One drink and a shot of SoCo Lime and we are on our way to the Brew pub.
10:00 p.m. 4-18 Ed and I sit outside at the tent and have some food.
9:45 p.m. 4-18 Ed and I are told not so politely that we have to put our name on the list at Thomas' if we want to sit outside and eat/drink. Fuck that Bitches!! people to see and places to go. We audi 5000.
9:30 p.m. 4-18 We start our way down the hill. Time for Mirth and Fun in Manayunk! let's hope everything is awesome!!

2:00 a.m. 4-18 Home is where the heart is, and also General Tso's Chicken. Chicken it up right and off to bed.
1:40 a.m. 4-18 Drop off Laura and Jonathan at Fort 1912, and I'm on my way!
1:30 a.m. 4-18 Leave 700 and drunken Geckler to her own devices. She is way drunker than I am, and I'll never catch up. Off we go!!!
1:00 a.m 4-18 Check out the upstairs at 700. See Dave P. and a lot of people not dancing. Jonathan said that he would if he didn't have the sailor suit on.
12:00 a.m. 4-18 We go to the 700 and meet up with a very drunk Megan Geckler and a not all that drunk Sara Sherr. After a half hour Sara absconds and leaves us with Megan. I will have to get her back for this!
11:30 p.m. 4-17 Jet from Johnny Brenda's leaving Nick, Cindy, Jonathan S., Chris, and Kaci to fend for theirselves. Off we go!!
11:00 p.m. 4-17 My food arrives. It's surprisingly good. I get a drunken call from Geckler, and she is hanging at the 700. I order and finish another Kenzinger, and we start to make our way to the door. Chris and Kaci finally arrive.
10:00 p.m. 4-17 Johnny Brenda's with Jonathan(s) and Laura. Table in the corner. Nexus kids joining us soon. Kenzingers for $3.00 is our best deal, and a round is ordered.
9:30 p.m. 4-17 We leave the new Neus in search of our next destination.. beer is gone, it's time to go. Off we go!!!!
7:00 - 9:30 p.m. 4-17 Nexus party/fundraiser sponsored by PBC. Try all four beers, their belgian style ale is the best out of the bottle. I see art and eat food, while seeing - Jonathan (Ultra), Laura, Chris, Kaci, Ricky Paul, Marina, Val, Marina's husband (pete?), Nick, Cindy, and Jonathan S, who is Ultra's friend. Party time -excellent - but it has to end, and we agree to reconvene at Johny Brenda's.

1:45 a.m. 4-16 I drop Ultra off at Fort 1912. Another sucessful Tuesday night.
1:30 a.m. 4-16 Skinners for last call. I can't even drink anymore. Time to go home.
12:40 a.m. 4-16 National Mechanics stop. One beer, and Joe makes me sing a song. I choose Kiss by Prince. My fans are less than pleased. Meet up with George, a regular there. The stock of pretty girls is running low, so we head out to Skinners.
12:30 a.m. 4-16 Leave the Raven. I kind of felt bad for ditching early, but it was down to Trishy, Shenita Stretcher, and three dudes by the bar. Now was as good of a time as ever.
11:45 p.m. 4-15 Got back to the Raven and met up with Trishy and Jonathan. Had a drink at the bar, and hung out for a while. Trishy introduced us to a couple of her teammates who were cute. But alas, they had boyfriends. Since You Been Gone and It's Tricky were the Stevie Steve set, as we enjoyed life for a bit.
11:00 p.m. 4-15. Arrived at Oscar's for a drink. Two drinks later, I was unwound and ready to go. Nobody hit my message back, so I met back up with Trishy.
10:45 p.m. 4-15. Got to the Raven, and I couldn't get a drink. My options were to hang with the diger-e-do player downstairs for open mike night, or invade someone's party. I chose option 3. I said hi to Trishy, and went out to try to grab a drink
10:30 p.m. Wii time is over. Time to have Tuesday Night Fun Haus.

I also wanted to include the last week in this, but I think that you've had all that you can stand now. It will be coming soon.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Easter Eve recap

So the night before Easter, and I'm going out.
All the creatures were stirring, so I couldn't pout.
Sat my ass by the bar with a mug full of beer,
wishing my four team parlay would appear.
Hot bartenders dressed in slutty girl best.
I tried not to look but I stared at their breasts.
Drinking and walking around the Olde City,
I'm hoping to make out with some one who's pretty...

O.k. somewhere in there I forgot about the words and melody to the night before X-Mas. But you get the point. Ed, Brian and I went galavanting in Olde City drinking for a bit. I'm not sure actually where we ended up during the night, but I know that we ended at the R Club. It was pretty uneventful there, but we were stopped by the cops on the way from the R Club to the diner. For looking like thugs. 4 thugs. Me Brian Ed....Well, no one ever said that a Philadelphia education was quality. I think I thought better of their civil servents though.

After breakfast we headed home. one long ass cab ride later, and I finally got to go to sleep.