Blog blog blog

It's been a while since I posted anything here, so I think I'll start that again. You have been warned...

Shore tour part 1

The highlights of the shore so far this summer are as follows:

1) outdoor beer pong on mini tables,
2) "No, I'm not a stripper."
3) Turd cutter/feces fountain
4) Bar-b-Que Chicken pizza,
5) Ed and the away game

The list will be increasing daily, and most definitely includes things that I missed. More to come later.

Things I shouldn't do anymore (pt. 1)

Things that I shouldn't do:

1. Start fights with 14 year old red-headed step children on the Basketball Courts, even when they have potty-mouths and are insulting my mother.
2. Get really drunk at BBQs and go looking for ex-girlfriends on South Street at Fast Cheap and Out of Control - Sunday Nights - even though I don't hook up with them when I see them.
3. Read bad sports blogs, even though I am avoiding work.
4. Check incessantly on my stock, even though I know that it only rises in the morning (and falls in the afternoon).

That's all for now. I may remember more later....

Be A Millionaire Day!

I will be celebrating this next year.

The year after, I intend to celebrate "Be a billionaire day!"

Yeah.

Topic for Discussion: Comeback songs

Surprise surprise, but when we were drinking, Ed + I were discussing comeback songs, such as:

Oh What a Night -early to mid 1990's
Don't Stop Believing - late 1990's
Rick Rolling a.k.a. Never gonna give you up -2007 and on and on...

What's next?

I thought maybe "Too Legit to Quit" or "poison"

What's you're opinion?

Please comment and let me know. In two years we can look back on this and either brag or mae fun of the commentor.

Closest to the next come-back wins a five spot from me. Maybe it will buy a gallon of gas/diesel fuel by then.

Thanks f0r listening

What am I? Your Mother?

So apparently my mom read my blog.





And she's none too happy about the language.
(Not my mom, but someone's probably)




Sorry Mom! I'll try not to f-in curse anymore.





Bye !

I Want to date a shoplifter!!!

Think about it? Cool stuff for free? I'll have 73 ties and 108 belts by the end of the year!!! Plus conjugal visit sex, how awesome would that be!!

I guess I'll have to save up for bail money now.

Crazy Bitches fucking with me in my own house!! and other related stories.

We're working backwards like Mission Impossible, bitches!

4:00 a.m. 4-19, I go to sleep, happy that all my random houseguests are asleep.
3:30 a.m. 4-19 Some crazy bitch insults Ed and refuses to shut the fuck up. Despite me asking her to leave my house some time ago, she doesn't take it seriously. She eventually falls asleep so I don't have to hear her whore mouth. She is apparently a sore winner as well
3:30 a.m. 4-19 Ed and I decide to have a friendly game of heads-up poker. Some chick who is kind of cute, but waaaay fucked up, wants to play with us. She then goes to out kick my trips to beat me, and out kick Ed slightly on some similar hand to take our $5.00 buy ins. She says that she wants to play cash games when we're sitting there. Apparently, she's down to her last 5.00 but that shouldn't matter. She slow rolls me when she beat my trips, showing poor sportsmanship.
3:00 a.m. 4-19 A clown car/cab opens its door outside of my house, and 5 people that I don't know are staying over. Ed and G also arrive. Pizza from All Star arrives. Some drunk chick makes herself a White Russian using soy milk.
2:30 a.m. 4-19 Me, Beth and Matt return to my house. Me and Beth order All Star. Mattie passes out.
2:00 a.m. 4-19 We leave the bar. Some asshole who is Lisa's boyfriend tries to start a fight. Oh Boy!
1:30 a.m. 4-19 I find Mattie Beth Ed and Lisa at the front bar. Me and G have a drink and start to try to talk to Beth's friends who are mediocre at best.
1:00 a.m. 4-19 G and I leave our cozy deck spot to find trouble.
12:30 a.m. 4-19 G and I do a shot of Patron and talk to some Jerzey hot chick. She seems to be having a good time until her Jersey boyfriend arrives. I wonder if he drives an Iroc? Patron shot #2
12:00 a.m. 4-19 Mattie and Ed leave to find Beth. Brad leaves to go home. G arrives. Shots of Patron for the people! 12.00 is way too much per shot.
11:30 p.m. 4-18 Hang with Brad on the deck and get scolded for smoking (him, not me.) Mattie and Ed find us and hang with us for a bit.
11:00 p.m. 4-18 Finally get in, some money and some eye candy. Brew Pub isn't my scene, but I love skirt season.
10:30 p.m. 4-18 Meet up with Beth, Mattie, Lisa (Beth's friend), Lisa's BF, John, Ricky, and Jimbo at Sapphire. One drink and a shot of SoCo Lime and we are on our way to the Brew pub.
10:00 p.m. 4-18 Ed and I sit outside at the tent and have some food.
9:45 p.m. 4-18 Ed and I are told not so politely that we have to put our name on the list at Thomas' if we want to sit outside and eat/drink. Fuck that Bitches!! people to see and places to go. We audi 5000.
9:30 p.m. 4-18 We start our way down the hill. Time for Mirth and Fun in Manayunk! let's hope everything is awesome!!

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2:00 a.m. 4-18 Home is where the heart is, and also General Tso's Chicken. Chicken it up right and off to bed.
1:40 a.m. 4-18 Drop off Laura and Jonathan at Fort 1912, and I'm on my way!
1:30 a.m. 4-18 Leave 700 and drunken Geckler to her own devices. She is way drunker than I am, and I'll never catch up. Off we go!!!
1:00 a.m 4-18 Check out the upstairs at 700. See Dave P. and a lot of people not dancing. Jonathan said that he would if he didn't have the sailor suit on.
12:00 a.m. 4-18 We go to the 700 and meet up with a very drunk Megan Geckler and a not all that drunk Sara Sherr. After a half hour Sara absconds and leaves us with Megan. I will have to get her back for this!
11:30 p.m. 4-17 Jet from Johnny Brenda's leaving Nick, Cindy, Jonathan S., Chris, and Kaci to fend for theirselves. Off we go!!
11:00 p.m. 4-17 My food arrives. It's surprisingly good. I get a drunken call from Geckler, and she is hanging at the 700. I order and finish another Kenzinger, and we start to make our way to the door. Chris and Kaci finally arrive.
10:00 p.m. 4-17 Johnny Brenda's with Jonathan(s) and Laura. Table in the corner. Nexus kids joining us soon. Kenzingers for $3.00 is our best deal, and a round is ordered.
9:30 p.m. 4-17 We leave the new Neus in search of our next destination.. beer is gone, it's time to go. Off we go!!!!
7:00 - 9:30 p.m. 4-17 Nexus party/fundraiser sponsored by PBC. Try all four beers, their belgian style ale is the best out of the bottle. I see art and eat food, while seeing - Jonathan (Ultra), Laura, Chris, Kaci, Ricky Paul, Marina, Val, Marina's husband (pete?), Nick, Cindy, and Jonathan S, who is Ultra's friend. Party time -excellent - but it has to end, and we agree to reconvene at Johny Brenda's.

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1:45 a.m. 4-16 I drop Ultra off at Fort 1912. Another sucessful Tuesday night.
1:30 a.m. 4-16 Skinners for last call. I can't even drink anymore. Time to go home.
12:40 a.m. 4-16 National Mechanics stop. One beer, and Joe makes me sing a song. I choose Kiss by Prince. My fans are less than pleased. Meet up with George, a regular there. The stock of pretty girls is running low, so we head out to Skinners.
12:30 a.m. 4-16 Leave the Raven. I kind of felt bad for ditching early, but it was down to Trishy, Shenita Stretcher, and three dudes by the bar. Now was as good of a time as ever.
11:45 p.m. 4-15 Got back to the Raven and met up with Trishy and Jonathan. Had a drink at the bar, and hung out for a while. Trishy introduced us to a couple of her teammates who were cute. But alas, they had boyfriends. Since You Been Gone and It's Tricky were the Stevie Steve set, as we enjoyed life for a bit.
11:00 p.m. 4-15. Arrived at Oscar's for a drink. Two drinks later, I was unwound and ready to go. Nobody hit my message back, so I met back up with Trishy.
10:45 p.m. 4-15. Got to the Raven, and I couldn't get a drink. My options were to hang with the diger-e-do player downstairs for open mike night, or invade someone's party. I chose option 3. I said hi to Trishy, and went out to try to grab a drink
10:30 p.m. Wii time is over. Time to have Tuesday Night Fun Haus.

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I also wanted to include the last week in this, but I think that you've had all that you can stand now. It will be coming soon.

Easter Eve recap

So the night before Easter, and I'm going out.
All the creatures were stirring, so I couldn't pout.
Sat my ass by the bar with a mug full of beer,
wishing my four team parlay would appear.
Hot bartenders dressed in slutty girl best.
I tried not to look but I stared at their breasts.
Drinking and walking around the Olde City,
I'm hoping to make out with some one who's pretty...

O.k. somewhere in there I forgot about the words and melody to the night before X-Mas. But you get the point. Ed, Brian and I went galavanting in Olde City drinking for a bit. I'm not sure actually where we ended up during the night, but I know that we ended at the R Club. It was pretty uneventful there, but we were stopped by the cops on the way from the R Club to the diner. For looking like thugs. 4 thugs. Me Brian Ed....Well, no one ever said that a Philadelphia education was quality. I think I thought better of their civil servents though.

After breakfast we headed home. one long ass cab ride later, and I finally got to go to sleep.

AC Recap

I'm on a delayed reaction from last Thursday. Sometimes it takes a while to get fully sober...

Anyway after a day of basketball watching, $1 bets with Matt and Ed, and surprising little drinking, I headed down to AC for a Beth Birthday Bash. Ed, Matt, Beth, Sarah, and I went to the Tropicana for some wagering and whistle wetting...

We hit the following bars throughout the night

17) Cuba Libre - one drink with the scary waiter, a decision that all their food was scary, and a chance to move on,
18) Rí~Rá - a two drink stop at a slutty Irish bar, where a number of girls decided to try to pick up Ed, and then thought better of it,
19) A Dam Good Sports Bar - 40 oz. of gold plus splitting another, tempered with shots of goodness, and bar food. MMM...bar food...
20) Providence - dance dance thump thump dance dance thump thump. Guy tried to hit on Beth in front of Mattie, because he wasn't scared of him. Somehow when I walked over, he changed his mind and walked away. Ed decided not to try to pick up to Long Island 30 something hottish housewives, while a woman (with her man in tow) tried to pick me up. Neither of us were down for a threesome ( although his would have been better than mine) and we headed back to the room to put the drunkards to bed.

After that we headed downstairs for some gambling. A guy at my table was pulling the Matt routine ( I am just so good looking...that's why I win all the time.) It had an air of annoying but was also a lot of hilarious. I drunkingly played for about 3 hours and was up a total of $2. Score!

At some point, Matt and Beth succumbed(sp?) to slumber, and Ed and I succumbed to hunger. Diner food at 6 a.m. with a waitress who could barely speak English is awesome. We paid the entire bill in ones, including the tip. Then we jetted up to grab 4 hours of sleep before check out..

The drive home was a mess, and led us to waiting around for an hour to get cheesesteak, which was a great and terrible idea. After that I faded in and out of sleep while waiting b-ball. won a few sports bets, and was ready to go....the next night....but that was Saturday, and my memory of that is faded right now. Until then..